Did you hear the one about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food; no atmosphere.

File under Great food; no atmosphere

Re: i will have insane sex with the smartest man on this thing - 23

An e-mail in response to a women seeking men posting on Craigslist:

I must like answering questionnaires. I can’t seem to help myself, or maybe it’s because you mentioned insane sex. Here are my answers to your questions:

1- what is a stock? what is a bond? how come there is a recession when there is one? (don't laugh because i KNOW everyone else doesnt know this shit either)

Stocks are shares in the ownership of a corporation. They entitle the owner to a share of the profits. Bonds are promissory notes issued by a government entity or a corporation to raise capital. A recession occurs when the Gross Domestic Product (GDP) is shrinking rather than growing. Put another way, a recession occurs when the total value of all goods and services in the country is getting smaller. By the way, there is commonly confusion about the meaning of growth in the stock market. Just because the value of the stock market is growing does not mean the size of the economy is growing. I am not an economist.

2- if you have a map and we have a destination and a car, can you get there? how sure are you of this? whatif it doesn't only involve I-95?

Yes, and I’m absolutely certain. (I keep a lot of maps around. I have a bad habit of memorizing the locations of damn near everything.)

3- are my friends ever cuter than me?

Of course not dear.

4- is there ever a wrong time to have sex?

I haven’t found one yet, but I’m willing to try.

5- TEN books you can recommend off the top of your head to other people

1. Bowling Alone, by Robert Putnam
2. The Mystery of Capital, by Hernando de Soto
3. The Open Society and Its Enemies, by Karl Popper
4. The Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien
5. Imagined Communities, by Benedict Anderson
6. The Legitimation of Power, by David Beetham
7. the mother tongue: english and how it got that way, by Bill Bryson
8. Aiding Democracy Abroad, by Thomas Carothers
9. Catch 22, by Joseph Heller
10. 1984, by George Orwell

6- TEN things that are important world issues

1. War (their causes, not so much how to win them)
2. Poverty
3. Sustainable economic development
4. Human rights
5. Dictatorship
6. International trafficking in human beings (women, children, anyone really)
7. The election of George W. Bush
8. The spread of democracy
9. AIDS
10. Terrorism

7- TEN reasons to explain really anything, actually

I’ve found that I don’t ever need a reason to explain really anything, actually.

8- what do all the acronyms stand for? yes all ofthem! in the world! not just scuba because i know that one from three's company too.

All of them? OK, here goes:

AAPC Accounting and Auditing Policy Committee
ABMC American Battle Monuments Commission
ACC Air Combat Command
ACDA United States Arms Control and DisarmamentAgency
ACF Administration for Children and Families
ACHP Advisory Council on Historic Preservation
ACQWeb Office of the Under Secretary of Defense forAcquisition and Technology
ACSL Alternate Crops and Systems Lab
ACYF Administration for Children, Youth, and Families
ADA Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 (Text ofADA legislation)
ADB Asian Development Bank
ADC Program Against Digital Counterfeiting ofCurrency
ADD Administration on Developmental Disabilities
ADF African Development Foundation
AFDB African Development Bank
AFDC Aid to Families with Dependent Children
AFIS American Forces Information Service
AFRC Air Force Reserve Command
AFRL Air Force Research Laboratory
AFROTC Air Force Reserve Officer Training Corps
AFRTS Armed Forces Radio and Television Service
AFS Air Facility Sub-System
AFSC Armed Forces Staff College (replaced by JFSC)
AFSPC Air Force Space Command
AGRICOLA Agricultural OnLine Access
AHCPR Agency for Health Care Policy and Research(changed to AHRQ)
AHPCRC Army High Performance Computing ResearchCenter
AHRQ Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality
AHS American Housing Survey
AID Agency for International Development
AIRS Aerometric Information Retrieval System (changedto AFS)
AMES Ames LaboratoryAMS Agricultural Marketing Service
Amtrak National Railroad Passenger Corporation
ANA Administration for Native Americans
ANG Air National Guard
ANL Argonne National Laboratory
AOA Administration on Aging
APHIS Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service
ARB Administrative Review Board
ARBA Army Review Boards Agency
ARC Appalachian Regional Commission
ARL Army Research Laboratory
ARNet Acquisition Reform Network
ARPA Advanced Research Projects Agency
ARS Agricultural Research Service
ATF Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms
ATSDR Agency for Toxic Substances and DiseaseRegistry
BARC Beltsville Agricultural Research Center
BEA Bureau of Economic Analysis
BEP Bureau of Engraving and Printing
BEST Biomonitoring of Environmental Status and Trends
BFRL Building and Fire Research Laboratory
BHPr Bureau of Health Professions
BIA Bureau of Indian Affairs
BIC Business Information Center
BIMAS BioInformatics Molecular Analysis Section
BIS Bureau of Industry and Security
BJA Bureau of Justice Assistance
BJS Bureau of Justice Statistics
BLM Bureau of Land Management
BLS Bureau of Labor Statistics
BMDO Ballistic Missile Defense Organization
BNA Bureau of National Affairs
BOP Federal Bureau of Prisons
BOR Bureau of Reclamation
BPA Bonneville Power Administration
BPD Bureau of the Public Debt
BPHC Bureau of Primary Health Care
BRB Benefits Review Board
BRD Biological Resource Division
BRFSS Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System
BSC Business Service Centers
BTS Bureau of Transportation Statistics
BVA Board of Veterans Appeals
BXA Bureau of Export Administration (changed to BIS)
CAGE Commercial and Government Entity
CBD Commerce Business Daily (Changed to FBO)
CBER Center for Biologics Evaluation and Research
CBIAC Chemical and Biological Defense InformationAnalysis Center
CBO Congressional Budget Office
CCC Commodity Credit Corporation
CCB Child Care Bureau
CCR Commission on Civil Rights
CDBG Community Development Block Grants
CDC Centers for Disease Control
CDER Center for Drug Evaluation and Research
CDFI Community Development Financial Institutions
CDRH Center for Devices and Radiological Health
CEA Council of Economic Advisers
CEDR Comprehensive Epidemiologic Data Resource
CEN Bureau of the Census
CEOS Child Exploitation and Obscenity Section
CEPPO Chemical Emergency Preparedness and PreventionOffice
CEPS Center for Earth and Planetary Studies
CEQ Council on Environmental Quality
CERCLIS Comprehensive Environmental Response,Compensation, & Liability Information System
CETEC Topographic Engineering Center
CFDA Catalog of Federal Domestic Assistance
CFOC Chief Financial Officers Council
CFR Code of Federal Regulations
CFSAN National Center for Food Safety and AppliedNutrition
CFTC Commodity Futures Trading Commission
CHAMPVA Civilian Health and Medical Program of theDepartment of Veterans Affairs
CHID Combined Health Information Database
CIA Central Intelligence Agency
CIAO Critical Infrastructure Assurance Office
CIC Consumer Information Center
CID U.S. Army Criminal Investigation Command
CIPRIS Coordinated Interagency Partnership RegulatingInternational Students (Changed to SEVIS)
CIS Cancer Information Service
CIT Center for Information Technology
CITES Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora
CMHS Center for Mental Health Services
CMS Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services
CMV Center for Minority Veterans
CNO Chief of Naval Operations
CNPP Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion
CNS Corporation for National Service
Conrail Consolidated Rail Corporation
CONSER Cooperative Online Serials
COP Coastal Ocean Program
COPS Office of Community Oriented Policing Services
CPI Consumer Price Index
CPMS Defense Civilian Personnel Management Service
CPO Corrections Program Office (Merged with BJA)
CPSC Consumer Product Safety Commission
CRC Civil Rights Center
CRISP Computer Retrieval of Information on Scientific Projects
CRP Conservation Reserve Program
CRS Congressional Research Service; CommunityRelations Service
CSAP Center for Substance Abuse Prevention
CSAT Center for Substance Abuse Treatment
CSB Chemical Safety and Hazard Investigation Board
CSE Office of Child Support Enforcement
CSI Center for the Study of Intelligence
CSR Center for Scientific Review
CSREES Cooperative State Research, Education, andExtension Service
CTEP Cancer Therapy Evaluation Program
CUAP College and University Affiliations Program
CWC Chemical Weapons Convention
DA Department of the Army
DARPA Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency
DAU Defense Acquisition University
DCAA Defense Contract Audit Agency
DCRT Division of Computer Research and Technology(replaced by CIT)
DDC Defense Distribution Center
DEA Drug Enforcement Administration
DeCA Defense Commissary Agency
DESA Department of Economic and Social Affairs
DESC Defense Energy Support Center
DFAS Defense Finance and Accounting Service
DHS Department of Homeland Security
DIA Defense Intelligence Agency
DINFOS Defense Information School
DISA Defense Information Systems Agency
DLA Defense Logistics Agency
DLAPS Defense Logistics Agency Publishing System
DLIS Defense Logistics Information Service
DLSA Defense Legal Services Agency
DMA Defense Mapping Agency (replaced by NIMA)
DMDC Defense Manpower Data Center
DMS Defense Mapping School (changed to NGS)
DNFSB Defense Nuclear Facilities Safety Board
DNSC Defense National Stockpile Center
DOC Department of CommerceDOD Department of Defense
DODEA Department of Defense Education Activity
DoDISS DoD Index of Specifications and Standards
DoDSSP Single Stock Point for Specifications andStandards
DOE Department of Energy
DOI Department of the Interior
DOJ Department of JusticeDOL Department of Labor
DORRA DLA Office of Operations Research and Resource Analysis
DOS Department of State
DOT Department of Transportation
DPC Domestic Policy Council
DPL Denied Persons List
DPMO Defense Prisoner of War/Missing Personnel Office
DRMS Defense Reutilization and Marketing Service
DSCA Defense Security Cooperation Agency
DSS Defense Security Service
DTIC Defense Technical Information Center
DTRA Defense Threat Reduction Agency
EAR Export Administration Regulations
EBSA Employee Benefits Security Administration
ECA Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs
ECAB Employees' Compensation Appeals Board
ECI National Institute on Early Childhood Developmentand Education
ECIE Executive Council on Integrity and Effiency
ECOSOC Economic and Social Council
ECP Emergency Conservation Program
ED Department of Education
EDA Economic Development Administration
EDGAR Electronic Data Gathering, Analysis, andRetrieval
EEOC Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
EHP Environmental Health Perspectives
EIA Energy Information Administration
EIS Epidemic Intelligence Service
EM Office of Environmental Management
EML Environmental Measurement Laboratory
ENC Eisenhower National Clearinghouse
EO Executive OrderEOIR Executive Office for Immigration Review
EOUSA Executive Office for United States Attorneys
EOWS Executive Office of Weed and Seed
EPA Environmental Protection Agency
EREN Energy Efficiency and Renewable Energy Network
ERIC Educational Resources Information Center
ERL Environmental Research Laboratories (absorbed byOAR or NOAA Research)
EROD Education Resource Organizations Directory
ERS Economic Research Service
ESA Employment Standards Administration; Economicsand Statistics Administration
ESDIM Environmental Services Data and InformationManagement
ETA Employment and Training Administration
Ex-Im Bank Export-Import Bank of the United States
FAA Federal Aviation Administration
Fannie Mae Federal National Mortgage Association
FAO Food and Agriculture Organization
FAPRS Federal Assistance Programs Retrieval System (replaced by CFDA)
FAR Federal Acquisition Regulation
Farmer Mac Federal Agricultural Mortgage Corporation
FAS Foreign Agricultural Service
FASAB Federal Accounting Standards Advisory Board
FBCI Faith-Based and Community Initiatives
FBI Federal Bureau of Investigation
FBIS Foreign Broadcast Information Service (see WNC)
FCA Farm Credit Administration
FCC Federal Communications Commission
FCIC Federal Consumer Information Center; FederalCrop Insurance Corporation
FDA Food and Drug Administration
FDIC Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation
FEB Federal Executive Board
FEC Federal Election Commission
FEDIX Federal Information Exchange Inc. (ceased operation 7/3/02)
FEDRIP Federal Research in Progress Database
FEMA Federal Emergency Management Agency
FERC Federal Energy Regulatory Commission
Fermilab Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory
FETC Federal Energy Technology Center (changed toNETL)
FFB Federal Financing Bank
FHA Federal Housing Administration
FHFB Federal Housing Finance Board
FHWA Federal Highway Administration
FIA Federal Insurance Administration
FINCEN Financial Crimes Enforcement Network
FIPS Federal Information Processing Standard
FJC Federal Judicial Center
FLC Federal Laboratory Consortium
FLETC Federal Law Enforcement Training Center
FLRA Federal Labor Relations Authority
FMC Federal Maritime Commission
FMCS Federal Mediation and Conciliation Service
FMCSA Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration
FMLA Family and Medical Leave Act
FMS Financial Management Service
FMSHRC Federal Mine Safety and Health ReviewCommission
FNCS Food, Nutrition, and Consumer Services
FNMA Federal National Mortgage Association
FNS Food and Nutrition Service
FOIA Freedom of Information Act
FOMC Federal Open Market Committee
FPDC Federal Procurement Data Center
FR Federal Register
FRA Federal Railroad Administration
FRB Federal Reserve Board
FRS Federal Reserve System; Federal Relay Service
FRTIB Federal Retirement Thrift Investment Board
FS Forest ServiceFSA Farm Service Agency; Office of Federal Student Aid
FSIS Food Safety and Inspection Service
FSS Federal Supply Service
FTA Federal Transit Administration
FTC Federal Trade Commission
FTS Federal Technology Service
FWS Fish and Wildlife Service
FYSB Family and Youth Services Bureau
GAO General Accounting Office
GATT General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade
GCMD Global Change Master Directory
GILS Government Information Locator Service
Ginnie Mae Government National Mortgage Association
GIPSA Grain Inspection, Packers, and Stockyards Administration
GIS Geographic Information Systems
GNIS Geographic Names Information System
GNMA Government National Mortgage Association
GPO Government Printing Office
GPRA Government Performance and Results Act
GPS Global Positioning System
GSA General Services Administration
GSFC Goddard Space Flight Center
GWA Governmentwide Accounting Project Group
GwoB Government Without Boundaries
HAB HIV/AIDS Bureau
HAC Health Administration Center
HCFA Health Care Financing Administration (changed toCMS)
HHS Department of Health and Human Services
HIRS Health Information Resources Service
HPCC High Performance Computing and Communications
HRSA Health Resources and Services Administration
HSB Head Start Bureau
HUD Department of Housing and Urban Development
IA Import Administration
IACB Indian Arts and Crafts Board
IADRWG Interagency Alternative Dispute ResolutionWorking Group
IAEA International Atomic Energy Agency
IAEGC Inter-Agency Electronic Grants Committee
IAF Inter-American Foundation
IBB International Broadcasting Bureau
ICAF Industrial College of the Armed Forces
ICAO International Civil Aviation Organization
ICC Interstate Commerce Commission
IES Institute of Education Sciences
IHS Indian Health Service
IIP International Information Programs
ILAB Bureau of International Labor Affairs
ILO International Labour Organization
IMF International Monetary Fund
IMLS Institute of Museum and Library Services
INEEL Idaho National Engineering and Environmental Laboratory
INF Intermediate Range Nuclear Forces
INL Bureau for International Narcotics and LawEnforcement Affairs
INS Immigration and Naturalization Service
INSS Institute for National Strategic Studies
INTERPOL International Criminal Police Organization
IO Bureau of International Organization Affairs
IOM International Organization for Migration
IRMC Information Resources Management College
IRS Internal Revenue Service
ITA International Trade Administration
ITC United States International Trade Commission
JAG Judge Advocate General
JCS Joint Chiefs of Staff
JEC Joint Economic Committee
JFSC Joint Forces Staff College
JPL Jet Propulsion Laboratory
JSC Johnson Space Center
KAPL Knolls Atomic Power Laboratory
KSC Kennedy Space Center
LANL Los Alamos National Laboratory
LBL Ernest Orlando Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory
LC Library of Congress
LLNL Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory
LOC Library of Congress
LOCIS Library of Congress Information System
LSC Legal Services Corporation
MAC Market Access and Compliance
MARAD Maritime Administration
MARVEL Machine Assisted Realization of the Virtual Electronic Library
MBDA Minority Business Development Agency
MCHB Maternal and Child Health Bureau
MCTL Militarily Critical Technologies List
MedPAC Medicare Payment Advisory Commission
MeSH Medical Subject Headings
MIGA Multilateral Investment Guarantee Agency
MMS Minerals Management Service
MMWR Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report
MOLIS Minority On-Line Information Service (ceased operation 7/3/02)
MSA Metropolitan Statistical Area
MSEL Materials Science and Engineering Library
MSHA Mine Safety and Health Administration
MSPB Merit Systems Protection Board
NACIC National Counterintelligence Center
NAFTA North American Free Trade Agreement
NAICS North American Industry Classification System
NAL National Agricultural Library
NARA National Archives and Records Administration
NARFE National Association of Retired FederalEmployees
NASA National Aeronautics and Space Administration
NASM National Air and Space Museum
NASS National Agricultural Statistics Service
NATO North Atlantic Treaty Organisation
NBAC National Bioethics Advisory Commission (replaced by PCBE; archived at GU)
NBII National Biological Information Infrastructure
NBL New Brunswick Laboratory
NCA National Cemetery Administration
NCBI National Center for Biotechnology Information
NCC National Coordinating Center forTelecommunications
NCCAM National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine
NCCDPHP National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion
NCCIC National Child Care Information Center
NCD National Council on Disability
NCDC National Climatic Data Center
NCEH National Center for Environmental Health
NCES National Center for Education Statistics
NCHS National Center for Health Statistics
NCHSTP National Center for HIV, STD, and TB Prevention
NCI National Cancer Institute
NCID National Center for Infectious Diseases
NCIPC National Center for Injury Prevention andControl
NCIS Naval Criminal Investigative Service
NCJRS National Criminal Justice Reference Service
NCLIS National Commission on Libraries and Information Science
NCPC National Capital Planning Commission
NCRR National Center for Research Resources
NCS National Communications System
NCTR National Center for Toxicological Research
NCUA National Credit Union Administration
NCVHS National Committee on Vital and Health Statistics
NDIC National Drug Intelligence Center
NDU National Defense University
NEA National Endowment for the Arts
NEC National Economic Council
NEGP National Education Goals Panel (defunct)
NEH National Endowment for the Humanities
NEI National Eye Institute
NEIC National Earthquake Information Center
NERSC National Energy Research Scientific Computing Center
NESDIS National Environmental Satellite, Data, andInformation Service
NETL National Energy Technology Laboratory
NFA National Fire Academy
NGA National Gallery of Art; NationalGeospatial-Intelligence Agency
NGDC National Geophysical Data Center
NGS National Geospatial Intelligence School(reorganized into DGS and SGST)
NHGRI National Human Genome Research Institute
NHI National Highway Institute
NHIC National Health Information Center
NHLBI National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute
NHPRC National Historical Publications and RecordsCommission
NHTSA National Highway Traffic Safety Administration
NIA National Institute on Aging
NIAAA National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism
NIAID National Institute of Allergy and InfectiousDiseases
NIAMS National Institute of Arthritis andMusculoskeletal and Skin Diseases
NIC National Institute of Corrections
NICHD National Institute of Child Health and Human Development
NIDA National Institute on Drug Abuse
NIDCD National Institute on Deafness and OtherCommunication Disorders
NIDCR National Institute of Dental and CraniofacialResearch
NIDDK National Institute of Diabetes and Digestiveand Kidney Disease
NIDRR National Institute on Disability andRehabilitation Research
NIEHS National Institute of Environmental HealthSciences
NIFC National Interagency Fire Center
NIFL National Institute for Literacy
NIGC National Indian Gaming Commission
NIGMS National Institute of General Medical Sciences
NIH National Institutes of HealthNIJ National Institute of Justice
NIMA National Imagery and Mapping Agency (replaced byNGA)
NIMH National Institute of Mental Health
NINDS National Institute of Neurological Disordersand Stroke
NINR National Institute of Nursing Research
NIOSH National Institute for Occupational Safety andHealth
NIPA National Income and Product Accounts
NIPC National Infrastructure Protection Center
NIST National Institute of Standards and Technology
NISTIR National Institute of Standards and Technology Interagency Report
NLE National Library of EducationNLM National Library of Medicine
NLRB National Labor Relations Board
NMB National Mediation Board
NMFS National Marine Fisheries Service
NNSA National Nuclear Security Administration
NOAA National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration
NODC National Oceanographic Data Center
NOS National Ocean Service
NPCR National Program of Cancer Registries
NPOESS National Polar-orbiting Operational Environmental Satellite System
NPR National Partnership for Reinventing Government (archived at Univ. of North Texas)
NPS National Park Service
NPTO National Petroleum Technology Office
NR National Register of Historic Places
NRC Nuclear Regulatory Commission
NRCS Natural Resources Conservation Service
NRDP National Rural Development Partnership
NREN National Research and Education Network
NREVSS National Respiratory and Enteric Virus Surveillance System
NRL Naval Research Laboratory
NRO National Reconnaissance Office
NRPC National Railroad Passenger Corporation (AMTRAK)
NSA National Security Agency
NSC National Security Council
NSF National Science Foundation
NSTC National Science and Technology Center
NSTL National Space Technology Laboratories
NTIA National Telecommunications and InformationAdministration
NTIS National Technical Information Service
NTP National Toxicology Program
NTSB National Transportation Safety Board
NVSS National Vital Statistics System
NWC National War College
NWCG National Wildfire Coordinating Group
NWS National Weather Service
NWTRB Nuclear Waste Technical Review Board
OA Office of Administration
OAC Office of Antiboycott Compliance
OACU Office of Animal Care and Use
OAIT Office of American Indian Trust
OALJ Office of Administrative Law Judges
OAR Office of AIDS Research; Office of Oceanic andAtmospheric Research
OAS Organization of American States
OASDI Old-Age and Survivors Insurance and DisabilityInsurance
OAT Office for the Advancement of Telehealth
OBL Office of Business Liaison
OCC Comptroller of the Currency
OCD Office of Community Development
OCE Office of the Chief Economist
OCR Office for Civil Rights (Dept. of Education)
OCRWM Office of Civilian Radioactive Waste Management
OCS Office of Community Services
OCSE Office of Child Support Enforcement
ODEP Office of Disability Employment Policy
ODP Office of Disease Prevention
OECA Office of Enforcement and Compliance Assurance
OECD Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development
OEGT Office of Electronic Government and Technology
OELA Office of English Language Acquisition
OERI Office of Educational Research and Improvement (replaced by IES)
OES Bureau of Oceans and International Environmentaland Scientific Affairs
OESE Office of Elementary and Secondary Education
OFA Office of Family Assistance
OFAC Office of Foreign Assets Control
OFCCP Office of Federal Contract Compliance Programs
OFHEO Office of Federal Housing Enterprise Oversight
OFM Office of Financial Management
OFR Office of the Federal Register
OGE Office of Government Ethics
OGP Office of Governmentwide Policy
OGWDW Office of Ground Water and Drinking Water
OHASIS Office of Health and Safety Information System
OHRP Office for Human Research Protections
OIIA Office of Intergovernmental and InteragencyAffairs
OIG Office of the Inspector General (USDA)
OJJDP Office of Juvenile Justice and DelinquencyPrevention
OJP Office of Justice Programs
OLAW Office of Laboratory Animal Welfare
OLMS Office of Labor Management Standards
OMAO Office of Marine and Aviation Operations
OMAR Office of Medical Applications of Research
OMB Office of Management and Budget
OMH Office of Minority Health
OMHAR Office of Multifamily Housing AssistanceRestructuring
OMM Offshore Minerals Management Program
ONDCP Office of National Drug Control Policy
ONR Office of Naval Research
OPA Office of Population Affairs
OPE Office of Postsecondary Education
OPEC Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries
OPHS Office of Public Health and Science
OPIC Overseas Private Investment Corporation
OPM Office of Personnel Management
OPPTS Office of Prevention, Pesticides, and Toxic Substances
ORA Office of Research and Applications
ORACBA Office of Risk Assessment and Cost-Office of Rare Diseases
ORHP Office of Rural Health Policy
ORI Office of Research Integrity
ORMH Office of Research on Minority Health
ORNL Oak Ridge National Laboratory
ORR Office of Refugee Resettlement
ORWH Office of Research on Women's Health
OSAC Overseas Security Advisory Council
OSBP Office of Small Business Programs
OSC Office of Special Counsel
OSCE Office of Child Support Enforcement
OSDBU Office of Small and Disadvantaged BusinessUtilization
OSERS Office of Special Education and Rehabilitative Services
OSF Office of Space Flight
OSHA Occupational Safety and Health Administration
OSHRC Occupational Safety and Health ReviewCommission
OSM Office of Surface Mining; Office of SpectrumManagement
OST Office of Science and Technology; Office of theSecretary of Transportation
OSTI Office of Scientific and Technical Information
OSTP Office of Science and Technology Policy
OSWER Office of Solid Waste and Emergency Response
OTA Office of Technology Assessment
OTJ Office of Tribal Justice
OTS Office of Thrift Supervision
OTT Office of Transportation Technologies
OVAE Office of Vocational and Adult Education
OVC Office for Victims of Crime
OWBO Office of Women's Business Ownership
OWCP Office of Workers' Compensation Programs
OWH Office on Women's Health
PAHO Pan American Health Organization
PAM Office of Acquisition and Property Management
PBGC Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation
PBS Public Buildings Service
PC Peace Corps
PCBE President's Council on Bioethics
PCC Panama Canal Commission
PCIE President's Council on Integrity and Effiency
PFIAB President's Foreign Intelligence Advisory Board
PHA Public Housing Agency
PHN Center for Population, Health and Nutrition
PHPPO Public Health Practice Program Office
PHPS Public Health Prevention Service
PHS Public Health Service
PHTN Public Health Training Network
PIH Office of Public and Indian Housing
PLLI National Institute on Postsecondary Education,Libraries, and Lifelong Learning
PNNL Pacific Northwest National Laboratory
POW/MP Prisoner of War/Missing Personnel
PPQ Plant Protection and Quarantine
PRC Postal Rate Commission
PRM Bureau of Population, Refugees, and Migration
PSC Program Support Center
PTO Patent and Trademark Office
PUMS Public Use Microdata Samples
PWBA Pension and Welfare Benefits Administration(replaced by EBSA)
RA Reserve Affairs
RBS Rural Business-Cooperative Service
RD Rural Development
RECD Rural Economic & Community Development (replacedby RD)
REE Research, Education and Economics
REIS Regional Economic Information System
RHS Rural Housing Service
RICHS Rural Information Center Health Service
RMA Risk Management Agency
ROTC Reserve Officer Training Corps
RRB Railroad Retirement Board
RSA Rehabilitation Services Administration
RSPA Research and Special Programs Administration
RUS Rural Utilities Service
SAMHSA Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
SAVE Systematic Alien Verification for Entitlement
SBA Small Business Administration
SDFS Safe and Drug-Free Schools
SDWIS Safe Drinking Water Information System
SEC Securities and Exchange Commission; SpaceEnvironment Center
SEDAC Socioeconomic Data and Applications Center
SEER Surveillance, Epidemiology, and End Results
SERC Smithsonian Environmental Research Center
SGLI Servicemembers' Group Life Insurance
SI Smithsonian Institute
SIC Standard Industrial Classification
SIES Office of Strategic Industries & Economic Security
SITES Smithsonian Institution Traveling Exhibition Service
SJI State Justice Institute
SLAC Stanford Linear Accelerator Center
SLSDC Saint Lawrence Seaway Development Corporation
SNL Sandia National Laboratories
SRS Savannah River Site
SS Secret Service
SSA Social Security Administration
SSI Supplemental Security Income Program
SSS Selective Service System
START Strategic Arms Reduction Talks
Stat. United States Statutes at Large
STB Surface Transportation Board
STI Scientific and Technical Information
SuDoc Superintendent of Documents
TA Technology Administration
TAA Trade Adjustment Assistance
TANF Temporary Assistance for Needy Families
TASC Transportation Administrative Service Center
TDA Trade and Development Agency
TEOAF Treasury Executive Office for Asset Forfeiture
TFF Treasury Forfeiture Fund
TFI Office of Terrorism and Financial Intelligence
TIC Trade Information Center
TRI Toxics Release Inventory
TSA Transportation Security Administration
TSI Transportation Safety Institute
TSO TRICARE Support Office
TSP Thrift Savings Plan
TVA Tennessee Valley Authority
U.N. United Nations
UNESCO United Nations Educational, Scientific andCultural Organization
UNICEF United Nations Children's Fund
UNICOR Federal Prison Industries, Inc.
UPU Universal Postal Union
USA United States Army
USACE U.S. Army Corps of Engineers
USAF United States Air Force
USAFA United States Air Force Academy
USAID United States Agency for International Development
USBR Bureau of Reclamation
U.S.C. United States Code
USCCR United States Commission on Civil Rights
USCG United States Coast Guard
USCIRF United States Commission on International Religious Freedom
USCS United States Customs Service
USDA United States Department of Agriculture
USES United States Employment Service
USFA U.S. Fire Administration
USGS United States Geological Survey
USIA United States Information Agency (changed to IIP)
USIP United States Institute of Peace
USITC United States International Trade Commission
USMC United States Marine Corps
USMS United States Marshals Service
USN United States Navy
USNCB United States National Central Bureau of INTERPOL
USPS United States Postal Service (state and street abbreviations)
USPTO United States Patent and Trademark Office
USSC United States Sentencing Commission
USSS United States Secret Service
USTR United States Trade Representative
VA Department of Veterans Affairs
VAWO Violence Against Women Office
VBA Veterans Benefits Administration
VETS Veterans' Employment and Training Service
VGLI Veterans' Group Life Insurance
VHA Veterans Health Administration
VISTA Volunteers in Service to America
VOA Voice of America
WAPA Western Area Power Administration
WB Women's Bureau
WES Waterways Experiment Station
WH Wage and Hour Division
WHMO White House Military Office
WHO World Health Organization
WIC Women, Infants and Children, Special supplemental food program for
WISQARS Web-based Injury Statistics Query andReporting System
WNET Women's Network for Entrepreneurial Training
WSMR White Sands Missile Range
WTO World Trade Organization
ZIP (Code) Zone Improvement Plan

Can you believe I didn't get a date with this woman?

The inauguration

I just received an e-mail that our office will be closed tomorrow because the surrounding streets will all be closed for security reasons due to the inauguration. It seems a hotel on the next block is holding an inaugural ball.

How does the President expect us to oppose his agenda if we have to close our office for one of his parties?

Air show

There's a virtual air show going-on right now over the nation's capitol. I've just watched four fly-overs by fighter jets from my office window. I'm still a little kid about things that go. I get pretty excited about this stuff.

So, what is this Absurdist?

Not, who is this Absurdist?

When I was trying to think of a handle to use for this blog, "The Absurdist" crossed my mind because it reflects my sense of humor: I find humor in the absurdities of life. I thought before I committed myself to the name I should check to see if it is a legitimate word. Searching on"absurdist" at dictionary.com produced the following entry:

ab·surd·ism ( P ) Pronunciation Key (b-sûrdz-m, -zûr-)n.

1. A philosophy, often translated into art forms, holding that humans exist in a meaningless, irrational universe and that any search for order by them will bring them into direct conflict with this universe: “True absurdism is not less but more real than reality” (John Simon).
2. An act or instance of the ridiculous: “This strained conceit never quite locates screen equivalents for the stage absurdisms” (Village Voice).

ab·surdist adj. & n.

[Download or Buy Now]Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth EditionCopyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

At the end of this entry you'll see that the variation "absurdist" is both an adjective and a noun, from which I infer that an absurdist is an adherent of the philosophy of absurdism.

Now, I was a philosophy major in college, and I had never come across absurdism before. I even looked-it-up in my handy desk reference, "The Oxford Companion to Philosophy." It isn't listed, but this view of the universe as inherently absurd appeals to me. I have for several years thought of myself as a pragmatist in the tradition of William James, John Dewey, and Sidney Hook.

I'm reevaluating.

Just where is suburban nowhere, anyway?

In my case, suburban nowhere is Montgomery County, Maryland.

I was at a party in the District sometime early last year, and I was trying to explain to someone just where I live. I was having some difficulty because I live in an unincorporated area and I didn't know what to call it. So I was rattling off the roads you'd take to get to my house, and saying what the landmarks are: a townhouse development and a major strip mall across the way. The fellow interrupts me and says, "so it's sorta suburban nowhere." I just nodded in agreement and said, "yeah, it's suburban nowhere."

"If all your friends jumped off a bridge...

would you do it too?"
-Everybody's mother

Apparently the answer is yes. It seems everyone has a blog. So now I have one too. Plus I firmly believe that "Everyone Is Entitled to My Opinion." (I'd like to take credit for that bit of genius, but actually it is the title of a book by former newsman David Brinkley.)